Dogfish Head Immort Ale

I wanted to like this beer a whole lot more than I did.  While I am a little iffy on the idea of a beer brewed with juniper berries (the one juniper beer I’ve tried was ghastly), the thought of a smoky oak-aged barleywine brewed with maple syrup, vanilla beans, and Belgian yeast sounds delicious.  There aren’t enough beers brewed with either vanilla or maple syrup.  I tend to like oak-aged beer, overall.  I enjoy smoked beers, particularly the campfire-and-bacon sort, but I am not opposed to peat-smoked beers either (I enjoy Scotch every now and then).  I never imagined it would be the smoke that would bug me.

The beer doesn’t look super intimidating.  It has a reddish-amber hue, more or less transparent.  The foam on top never gets beyond a film, though it does stay around for a decent time.  It also leaves some lacing, though not much.  I would like to take this time to pimp what is easily the best beer glass around.  Anyone who doubts that laser-etched nucleation points help with carbonation need only watch this:

Nice steady stream of bubbles.

Where this beer starts to go wrong is when I smell it.  I took one whiff and knew this was going to be an unfortunate experience.  Two words: BAND AIDS.  I have had many peat-smoked beverages.  A lot of Scotch whiskey is brewed with peat-smoked barley, imparting flavors as wide-ranging as ash and moss and medicine (like chewing on a tablet).  I generally like it, and the first Scotch I ever bought was this smoky beast.  But I have never, ever tasted Band Aid flavors in Scotch, or peat-smoked beer, despite both containing phenolic compounds commonly said to taste like band aids..  I thought it was a bad joke some brewers liked to tell; after all, who has actually tasted a Band Aid before?  I am sorry I ever doubted them.  This smells the way a Band Aid smells, and there is no other association I can think of.  It’s the only one that makes sense.

As the beer warms up, I can also faintly make out some vanilla scents.  But nothing strong enough to suggest this was brewed with vanilla beans, or for that matter aged in oak barrels, fermented with maple syrup and brewed with juniper berries.

The flavor is a little better, but not amazing by any stretch.  There is indeed some smoky Scotch-like flavor now, a hint of peat moss in there.  Also like Scotch---and not welcome in beer, as far as I’m concerned---is the prominent role the alcohol has in the flavor profile.  Somewhat pleasantly spicy but unpleasantly warming, it ends up going to war with the insurgent Band Aid flavor and I the drinker am collateral damage.  The combination feels like a continuous, unending M.O.A.B. strike on my tongue.  What little vanilla flavor here could have come from the vanillin naturally present in oak wood, they should have used more vanilla beans to make it distinct.  Also, they should have used less peat-smoked barley, or perhaps a different brand or grade of it.  There is still not a single note of maple syrup or juniper berries, and the beer finishes with a long-lasting aftertaste of heat, smoke, and Band Aids.

The texture isn’t doing this beer any favors either.  For an 11% barleywine, it has a drying quality to it that is almost parching.  The smoke and dryness coat the mouth for much longer than they are welcome.

The label tells me that I might feel immortal after having a bottle of this.  HAH---if only.  I feel like my palate has been fatally wounded.  Dogfish Head makes much better beer; this is one to avoid.