Stone Coffee Milk Stout

Stone Brewing Company debuted this new beer over the summer.  It is a cream/milk stout, a type of stout to which lactose is added to attain additional sweetness, since unlike most sugars, brewer's yeast won't ferment lactose.  So it just sits there, functioning like an artificial sweetener, except it's natural dairy sugar.  This particular one has coffee added to it.  A local place has it on draft.

Coffee Milk Stout's aroma contains a hefty bit of coffee grounds and a touch of some cream.  There really isn't much else.  I'm not surprised; at 4.2% alcohol, this is the weakest beer Stone has brewed since 1999.   Overall, it smells mild but it smells like the name.

The taste starts with char and roasted barley flavor.  This best resembles a dry Irish stout (a la Guinness) with more char.  Coffee doesn't come around until the finish.  Aftertaste is largely coffee grounds and what I think is black patent malt.  There is a far more subtle hint of dark baker's chocolate.

Now we come to this beer's great failing.  There is almost no discernible cream stout flavor to this.  No , scratch that: nothing about this is a cream stout.  No lactose flavor whatsoever.  Moreover, the texture is unlike any cream stout I have ever had.  It is highly carbonated, light, and dry. 

I did not expect---nor did I want---a powerhouse from this beer.  At 4.2% alcohol, this is not only the weakest Stone beer I have ever had but it is also the weakest cream stout I have ever seen.  Stone openly advertises this as the least alcoholic beer they have brewed in 15 years.  So I went in fully expecting and indeed hoping for a light cream stout with a bit of coffee.    But this is pretty much false advertising.  I can neither taste nor feel the presence of unfermented lactose.  A cream/milk stout is defined by that.  Because it lacks it, this is just too dry and utterly lacks the creamy texture essential to the style.

Stone Coffee Milk Stout simply does not come close to achieving what its name implies.  As a light, dry, session stout, it's good. As a light, dry, session coffee stout, it's serviceable. As any kind of cream/milk stout, however, it is self-evidently a miserable failure. This beer could probably be consumed with ease by the lactose intolerant. Great for them.  However, a cream stout is defined by the addition of large amounts of lactose; therefore, a successful cream stout is defined (in part) by its ability to leave the lactose intolerant clutching their stomachs in agony, cursing fate for robbing them of ice cream and milk 'n' cookies.  Stone Coffee Milk Stout fails that test.